This is me, Clarice Bean.

And you will know, if you know me, that I am exceptionordinarily keen on the Ruby Redfort books which everyone has heard of even if they live on Mars (which nobody does at the moment). Patricia F Maplin Stacey wrote seven Ruby books but has stopped writing due to being aged and not with it.

The good news is that Lauren Child is much younger and has written a new Ruby Redfort and maybe more – if she pulls up her socks and gets on with it. The thing I love about the Ruby Redfort series is that it is always exciting and quite impossible to imagine how Ruby will escape the death-defying situation she is in. Mostly I spend the whole time behind a chair or grabbing a cushion. If you like death-defying situations and gadgets and a girl who is more tough than an archish villain then you will probably love Ruby Redfort.

If you don’t then you are probably an Armpit.

Which is what Ruby calls people who are deadfully dreary. Someone who is an Armpit is my teacher Mrs Wilberton. She says, “The Ruby Redfort series is not a good example of the literature of our times”.

But if you do look like a hippotamus, it is hard to enjoy yourself.

Clarice Bean